Sunday, October 6, 2013
Theme Week 6
One of my favorite places to be in the summer down at the lake by my house. I love the walk down to the lake through the narrow, winding path in the woods by our house, along the stone pathway surrounded by low hanging trees and mossy woods. Once you get down to the dock you get a beautiful view of green lake from the ancient wooden docks that look about a thousand years old. The shallow parts of the docks are surrounded by huge boulders sitting in the lake which are always surrounded by fish, and the lake is crystal clear so that even at the deepest part off the dock you can see everything, straight down about fifteen or twenty feet. The air always smells clean, the sound of the waves pushing the docks up and down is relaxing, and on a nice sunny day it’s just about the best place in the world.
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Place descriptions are hard--the sure sign you have no confidence here is how you unconsciously drift by the third sentence into the second person. Once it's 'you' doing and seeing things, the hard work of visualizing and remembering is skipped over and a more generic writing happens. Words like ancient, beautiful, crystal clear, everything, clean, relaxing--these are all cop-outs, short cuts leading to dead ends.
ReplyDeleteTry a rewrite. Imagine you, NH, walking down there--what do YOU see, what do YOU remember, what do YOU feel?